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LiveJournal for tales from the bedroom that made you laugh....

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Thursday, March 1st, 2007

Subject:Sexual Health
Posted by:floopyboo.
Time:8:37 am.
An article on sexual health. This article talks about ecosexuality (not as much as the following article, though) and covers a lot of ground about the toxins in pthalates & other popular materials.
Going green. This article focuses on what will happen to your toy in the environment after it reaches it's used-by date. Definitely a must-read for the self-loving greenie.
From an industry perspective. This article examines the industrial POV and has some important information that you should read if you are a silicone junkie (like me). It is towards the bottom of the article, so even if the top bit where all the makers of toxic products belittle the research pisses you off, bear with it, the good & important reading is at the end. (*NOTE: this website has a nice little pop-up farm. If you want, I can c&p the content)


And finally, some cleaning tips.
Comments: take a peek.

Tuesday, December 12th, 2006

Subject:Gross? Or Funny?
Posted by:lyricaldreaming.
Time:5:20 pm.
Hi, I am new to this community and new to LJ to be honest. This is the 1st community I have joined because if you can't laugh at sex what the heck can you laugh at? 
I liked the posts so far and think I can add to them.
I was once with a girlfriend and we where having sex. She loved me goping down on her and as I consider that to be my favourite thing to do, I obliged her. As I did so I felt something tickling my tongue, and at first thought it was a stray pubic hair. 
She asked me what was wrong after hearing me trying to spit out the invisible hair, so I told her that something was caught in my mouth, she said "Oh don't worry about that, its probably my tampon string!"  
"Eww! Yucky! Gross!" I thought to myself. Then after a moment I thought "Oh what the heck!" So I pulled it out and carried on. She came (very loudly as I remember) and a good time was had by all!
It was only later when I woke and went to the bathroom for a pee and glanced in the mirror that I noticed a startling resemblance to a slaughtered pig! I cleaned myself up and went back to bed only realising as I slid between the sheets that maybe on hindsight I should have gotten her a fresh tampon. It looked like a Freddie Kruger movie set!
Ah well, I have always felt that you should be open to new experiences :-)
Comments: 2 voyeurs -take a peek.

Monday, March 13th, 2006

Subject:Cats, 1. Vibrator, 0.
Posted by:notorious_oit.
Time:3:23 pm.
So the other day I was enjoying some mindless self-indulgence courtesy of the only vibe I have at the moment, that damn hard plastic one where the batteries rattle like mad. I was under the blankets since it muffles the rattling, and my cats, who were laying at the foot of the bed, decided that it was a new kitty toy. I was laying there getting my rocks off with my eyes closed, and WHUMP! OW!

The cats jumped onto the vibrator.

Little bastards.
Comments: 1 voyeur -take a peek.

Thursday, September 15th, 2005

Posted by:lady_russell.
Time:1:24 am.
You can always laugh at other people having sex. Unless they don't stop.Collapse )
Comments: 6 voyeurs -take a peek.

Subject:Love yourself!
Posted by:floopyboo.
Time:1:30 pm.
I originally posted this in my journal a few months back. Someone said they were going to cross post it all over the show. I haven't seen it anywhere I frequent yet. But this stuff needs to be said. Too many people are doing stupid things in the name of self-love... And with that, I give you... Love Yourself!Collapse )
Comments: 2 voyeurs -take a peek.

Friday, August 12th, 2005

Subject:A Meeting of the Groins
Posted by:floopyboo.
Time:4:25 pm.
A few years back, I was dating a guy who was just a shade over 2 metres (204cm) tall. Petite little me, I am 164cm.

One day, Stretch decided he had heard a lot of good things about this shower sex thing, and really wanted to try it with me. Now shower sex is difficult at the best of times, but when your parter's groin is pretty much level with your boobs, it makes the task so much more difficult.

Stretch wasn't that great or inventive, me being his first partner, so when he suggested what to him was the equivalent of going to a Swingers Night Out, I was quite happy to comply. Anything to encourage innovation and imagination in my partners!

Anyway, we're in the shower, soap everywhere, and he's getting all pointy and wanting to play. It's then that it dawns on me that we have a huge problem.... one small shower and how the fuck am I supposed to climb Mount Tall Bastard & ride the magic penis?

We started sorting it out... his foot here, my foot there, one leg over his shoulder, him bent at the knees.... and it works surprisingly well...

Remember that soapy soapy floor?

Suddenly my left foot gave way under me, and I sliced my pinky toe & the one next to it almost clean to the bone.

We stopped. I screamed.

He bandaged my toes.

I was left with a limp for a few months while the injury healed.

To this day my left pinky toe curls to the left so that the toenail scrapes against the floor.
Comments: 2 voyeurs -take a peek.

Subject:The Little Engine That Couldn't
Posted by:floopyboo.
Time:4:23 pm.
Not long before I decided to head off into the misguided world of University Education, I found myself working as a kitchenhand in a prominant Southbank Restaurant.

During the course of my employment I took up with one of the worst lovers I have ever had. Considering the sheer quantity of bed partners I've had, it's quite a title to give a man. But oh boy did he deserve it.

Perhaps I'm bitter because he offered to buy be a boob job so I could have a biker babe bustline. But I'm a tolerant woman. I can put up with a lot. But this guy really took the cake.

One day we were at his place, in his bedroom (complete with motor-racing themed curtains, sheets and doona covers) and yes, we were fucking. I was getting bored, he was doing absolutely nothing for me, and was about to get up and let him just rub it out on the carpet when he started to say it.

"Gotta cum. Gotta cum. Gotta cum."

I remember thinking 'Yeah D, what about me?'

To this day, I have no idea how I managed to keep a straight face during or afterwards.
Comments: take a peek.

Posted by:floopyboo.
Time:3:23 pm.
I've played around with the look of the journal - hope you get a bit of a laugh from it.

I'm definitely still after a good avatar for the front page, although I'm happy enough with the current place holder.

So how about we pop this community's cherry?

What is the funniest noise you've ever made or heard being made during sex?
Comments: 9 voyeurs -take a peek.

Subject:I have been told to get a great icon for this community...
Posted by:floopyboo.
Time:1:39 pm.
well, that's easy.... why don't you come up with a fantastic icon & post it in a reply - the one that I think is funniest will get a spot on the info page, and credit will be given in the blurb!

Now for the making pretty of... what we currently have is a temporary solution, never fear!
Comments: 4 voyeurs -take a peek.

LiveJournal for tales from the bedroom that made you laugh....

View:User Info.
View:Friends.
View:Calendar.
View:Website (Savage Love - It's good for a laugh).
View:Memories.
You're looking at the latest 9 entries.